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juke
Being thankful for what you got to appreciate what you get.
 
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let's dance

 

Picking my battles. Taking a backseat to confronting authority while they satisfy their need for control, but always aware that I am my own authority. There is this little dance that we do, switching roles from day to day. I adapt when I'm seen as rude and offensive to where killing with kindness and listening, in my view, sheds more light on these overbearing types more than any aggressive stance. There's a time and place to fight fire with fire and there is much temptation to drop bombs as I've done in the past. It may burn the place down to one's delight, but destruction can be too short-sighted. Reading up on history lends credence to this. For me, the better choice has been to shut my mouth and observe. Weather the storm, ride it out.

For one, I am able to see their attitude directed towards others, taking the focus off of myself and my reaction to it. Second, I see how others eventually wear them down to the point they, too, show signs of resignation from being so painstakingly critical of things. Such a strict approach and condescending tone which annoys others reveals a wrinkle or two. They ought to be careful: their humanity is showing.

Between the rational and the erratic, I see the inconsistency as human nature, things that they may be trained to overlook or condemn. Superiors seem to be in a perpetual bind of balancing kindness and discipline, while juggling their inner baggage; some blend it all together effectively and some have it very lop-sided.

Taking one direction becomes a detour towards the opposite and back again. Perhaps I avoid confrontation, or I wait for a time where it feels worthwhile and points are more likely to make an impact. So that it's backed up by context and not a reckless display of emotion. All while keeping the appearance of a calm, collected consumer who just wants a new phone. Sort of like that old recipe that only tastes right when the spices are added at the right intervals.

Despite all planning, I'm sure there's missed opportunities and things to improve on. Who's keeping score? Not I, unless it's for a chance to win a new tablet. Seasons change and so do goals, some of which are to break a sweat and connect with people. Everything else is extra. Staying busy, staying hungry.

For every rational thought, there are gaps of crazy that I cannot explain simply. Creeping in from a deeper place. Or is it right under our nose and we're trained to ignore it? An animal in plain sight that has no use for unlimited calls on weekends. Because explaining our mutual silliness feels like too much work for too little return sometimes. At least in the usual ways. Where words miss the boat, imagery treads the water nicely.
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In such a confusing time, it is high time to trust one's instincts.

 

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